More Messages: Incredible Feat

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To quote that great intellectual, Yakov Smirnov: America, what a country! Where else can an individual be a complete unknown one day, and achieve planetary domination the next?

An example of this phenomenon popped up on this morning's edition of the Today show, when Matt Lauer interviewed Keith Olbermann, on hand to hype The Worst Person in the World... and 202 Strong Contenders, a book that spins off from a regular segment on Countdown, the MSNBC program Olbermann hosts. When Lauer asked Olbermann to name this week's worst person on earth, he reached into his jacket and pulled out the name of Mitch Cozad, backup punter for the University of Northern Colorado Bears, who temporarily left obscurity behind after being arrested for allegedly stabbing Rafael Mendoza, the team's first-string punter, in the kicking leg.

So take heart, folks. No one may know who you are right now, but you're just one appallingly goofy act away from international fame. -- Michael Roberts