Keeping a dog alive doesn't seem like such a difficult task, but every once in a while a very dumb man discovers a new way to kill one.
A while back, it was Quincy Vanderbilt, who left his dog in a closed-up car while his girlfriend tried out for American Idol. This week it was Boulder's Kenneth Gookin.
Gookin, who's 26 and, if you look closely, actually looks a lot like a bewildered dog, is the owner of a four-month-old beagle, which -- being, you know, A FUCKING PUPPY -- had a tendency to bark and chew on stuff. But instead of getting him trained or giving him to someone who would or killing him in some way-more-humane manner, he decided to put tape over his mouth and lock him in a bathroom.
The dog, of course, died, since dogs, like humans and other living things, need to breathe in air to keep being alive and whatnot. He's been arrested on animal-cruelty charges. He's also our Shmuck of the Week.
Meet more shmucks in our Shmuck of the Week archive.