Ten Strains of Marijuana We're Grateful for This Thanksgiving | Westword
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Ten Strains We're Grateful for This Thanksgiving

While mom's in the kitchen obsessing over her cranberry sauce and grandpa's watching football on the couch, we'll be upstairs taking a quick hit from one of our favorite strains. Whether you're in the mood for the sour flavor of Super Lemon Haze or stanky smell of Girl Scout Cookies,...
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While Mom is in the kitchen obsessing over her cranberry sauce and Grandpa is watching football on the couch, we'll be upstairs taking a quick hit from one of our favorite strains. Whether you're in the mood for the sour flavor of Super Lemon Haze or stanky smell of Girl Scout Cookies, head to your local dispensary and pick up something to help ease you through the family obligations this holiday season.

While you're at it, be sure to check out Herbert Fuego's advice on how to stay high on the sly while you're at family dinner.

1. Super Lemon Haze

As the smell implies, smoking Super Lemon Haze is like inhaling a handful of Lemonheads. The delicious sour flavor is complemented by a subtle but spicy and earthy back end, making it a great appetizer before dinner.

Quick and effective, Super Lemon Haze brings an instantly uplifting high that can last for hours. Smoke it with caution your first time, though, because some users report a lack of focus or heightened paranoia. Still, the majority enjoy a euphoric buzz and an easy state of mind, good for harmless laughs or a mindless walk around the neighborhood.

2. L.A. Confidential

Similar to its Afghani relative, the flavor is sweet and dirty, with earthy flavors of pine rounded out by a citrus tang.

L.A. Confidential’s effects are pretty universal, so don’t expect much variation from the typical indica effects. Relaxation and couch lock come in fast, but its powerful psychedelic buzz goes great with funky music or a colorful movie. Medical patients looking for stronger pain relief without smoking hash or suffering from lack of sleep should consider giving it a try.

3. Chernobyl

Just as its smell and terpene profile suggest, smoking Chernobyl brings bright, tart flavors of lemon and lime that can be so strong, you might miss subtle woody and zesty undertones on the back end.

Good for minor mental disorders, depression and stress, Chernobyl provides a calming but powerful head high that also helps with stomach issues. For recreational purposes, Chernobyl is fine for relaxation without exhaustion, as users can still have energy — albeit somewhat unfocused — despite the overwhelming euphoria.

4. Jet Fuel

Taste: Similar to its smell, but slightly reversed. Most cuts of Jet Fuel bring the earthy flavors up front; those are followed by the tart, rubbery taste most us expect after smelling the strain.

Effects: Uplifting and focused. Thanks to its Sour Diesel heritage, Jet Fuel is a great daytime or pre-activity strain. However, because of its Aspen OG genetics, the high is a little calmer, bringing about a balancing relaxation that keeps your heart steady. The strain is largely used by medical patients for stress, exhaustion and anxiety.

5. Mobb Boss

The strain’s gassy Chemdawg heritage is hard to miss, but it’s balanced out by a fresh pine-tree scent on the back end. It’s sort of like a cheap air freshener that you hang in your car — and roll into joints.

Much like its double-sided smell, Mobb Boss starts out with a skunky, diesel flavor that’s followed by a floral, tree-like one.

Staying true to its hybrid form, Mobb Boss generally starts off with a buzzing, euphoric sensation that’s great for appetite, tension and stress — but not necessarily focus, because of how strong it can be. The second half of the high usually brings on strong relaxation, so be ready for the comedown.

Keep reading for five more strains.

6. Gorilla Glue

This is where you can tell the phonies from the freaks in terms of flavor. Because of Gorilla Glue’s reputation for nugs the size of Pamela Anderson’s jugs, some growers will overuse swelling nutrients to make the nugs larger without flushing for the required amount of time. Beware of grassy, salty-tasting cuts of the strain; expect piney, sweet and earthy flavors from either phenotype.

Both popular cuts of the strain are potent enough to knock out any newb, regardless of whether they’re sativa-dominant or not. Experienced tokers will appreciate the heavy relaxation #4 gives without the sleepy comedown, but #1 will put you in the dirt in about an hour or less. Both are great stress relievers, though.

7. Maui Wowie

Sweet and tropical, and I’m not just saying that. Maui Wowie generally brings a sweet, fruity flavor up front, followed by a tart citrus taste at the end — but just like its homeland, it’s smooth and mellow.

There isn’t much variance if you’re smoking the real thing: Maui Wowie is an uplifting, joyful strain for virtually all who smoke it. Its stress relief and racy effects make it great for outdoor activities, exhaustion or slight depression.

8. Girl Scout Cookies

One word: pungent. Anything less would be a disappointment when considering how stanky Durban and OG Kush are. Girl Scout Cookies’ mouthwatering mix of rubbery sweetness and wet soil rapidly became very distinctive.

The taste mirrors the strain’s smell, with a sweet, earthy flavor. However, the Cookies genetics can also give off a creamy flavor, especially in phenotypes like Cookies and Cream or the Clinic’s Key Lime Pie.

The strain’s THC percentage has been known to hit in the 20s when it’s grown indoors, and it brings about a great hybrid high of euphoria followed by creativity followed by relaxation — but not always in that order.

9. Cherry Lime Haze

The smell is very reminiscent of lime, though a sweetness of tart cherries and a subtle Haze spice kick in at the end. Some cuts of Cherry Lime Haze also come with an intoxicating cheesy funk.

Sour (but not heavy) flavors of citrus and cherries, with an earthy (and sometimes cheesy) aftertaste. Don’t expect in-your-face flavor, though.

10. Headband

Stalwart genetics create one hell of a whiff, reminiscent of an afternoon bike ride through the alleys of Venice Beach. The tart, rubbery scents of Sour Diesel are strong up front, followed by a dirty earthiness similar to that of the OG.

No bait-and-switch here: Headband tastes exactly like it smells. Pungent flavors of rubber and fuel (they taste better than they sound) combine with OG flavors for a skunky delight.
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