It's been real, gang, but let's kiss goodbye to 2016. It was up, down and everything in between, but if you followed our advice, paying attention to this list, you were guaranteed to have a good time. We can laugh our way out of the year; party until sunrise — even starting at sunrise; and eat all the free food we can, to kick off 2017. If you can't find things to suit your fancy here, check out the Westword calendar for limitless ways to spend your holiday weekend.
The Birth of the Clinic: New Works by Mauro C. Martinez
6 p.m. Friday, free
One of the last gallery openings of the year is sure to be a hit: Mauro C. Martinez presents Alive Today, a mash-up of abstract and photogenic paint techniques. Big themes like truth, identity and isolation will jump from the canvas into your psyche. Shake hands with the artist and enjoy some tasty beverages.
Sexpot Comedy Presents The Nerd Roast: In Memoriam
Comedy RoomRoom at El Charrito
7 p.m. Friday, free
Famous people die all the time, but 2016 brought on a different level of celebrity deaths. This time around, the nerds do the roasting. David Bowie, Gene Wilder, Harambe, even Fidel and many more get the nerd treatment. Mara Wiles, Christie Buchele, Corey Helie and a host of other local comedians act the part of all of the year's departed. If you can't make it, the show will stream live on Sexpot Comedy's Facebook page.
Law & Disorder
Voodoo Comedy Playhouse
7 p.m. Friday, $5
This show is in its second season, and you can check out the second episode Friday night. Comics take suggestions from the audience to craft a full-fledged, gut-busting crime story. After the suspect is apprehended, the audience takes on the role of the jury, as well. Not a bad way to spend $5.
Epilogue's Epilogue: The Real and Final Chapter
Mutiny Information Cafe
9 p.m. Friday, free
After three and a half years, the Epilogue comedy showcase is calling it quits. The original comedy show at Mutiny might reboot at some point, but let's send it off with laughter Friday night. The final night features the crushing standup acts Nathan Lund, Christie Buchele, Georgia Rae, Harris Alterman, Gabby Gutierrez-Reed and special surprise guests that will help close the Epilogue book.
Rocky Horror Picture Show
11:59 p.m. Friday, $9
If you still have some in-laws straggling around, dress them in drag and, well, drag them to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Brush up on the tunes beforehand, dab on your makeup and prepare to do "The Time Warp" while watching this interactive pervy classic.
Read on for more things to do this weekend.
New Year's Eve Erotic Poetry Festival
7 p.m. Saturday, $10
Wallow in the passion of poets twisting their tongues and seducing us with tantalizing words. Treat yourself with a lyrical tingle on this last night of the year, from wordsmiths like Suzi Q, Ricardo Bogar, QuiAnna Ray and many more. The Beat Nomad Belly Dancers and the Diamond Dolls will entice your eyes as well.
New Year's Eve Fireworks in Downtown Denver
16th Street Mall
9 p.m. and midnight Saturday, free
There are thousands of places to be on New Year's Eve, but check out the free fireworks show happening at 9 p.m. and midnight in the heart of downtown. Watch for the clowns on stilts, magicians, balloon artists and all stripes of other entertainers roaming the crowd.
Day Onesie Annual New Year's Day Party featuring Christian Martin
7 a.m. Sunday, $10
Keep the party going when you step into Pearl's at 7 a.m. — yes, that painfully early 7. The party cranks up with the sun and goes all night long. Extra points if you show up in your pajama onesies and dance your tuchis off to the sounds Christian Martin throws on the speakers. The Broncos game will play during the dance party, so there's no excuse to miss the festivities. Tickets here.
First Day Hikes
Colorado State Parks
7 a.m. Sunday, free (plus entry fees)
Make it a goal to explore the stunning nature we've been blessed with in colorful Colorado. Drive up to one or more of the 27 participating state parks for free guided hikes and goodie-bag giveaways. The hikes are free, but you do have to pay a little bit to drive in, so load up the folks in your car and ask them to pitch in. Check it out here.
Soup Day and Food Drive
Broadway Book Mall
11 a.m. Sunday, donation
Let's wrap up the season of giving by donating non-perishable soup at the Broadway Book Mall. While you're there, fill your tummy with a smorgasbord of soup. Rumor has it that the West African Chicken Soup will change your life. Bring a loaf of bread or a dessert to share if you'd like. And while you're there, pick up some books to crack open in the new year.