Searching for the perfect sativa can be a never-ending quest if you’re picky. Anxiety, paranoia, lack of focus, drowsiness and irritability are all associated with smoking pot, but they can be especially strong with sativas. I doubt most pot consumers would think a strain called Qrazy Train would be devoid of such side effects, but if they’re like me, they’ll be eager to find out after taking a whiff.
Qrazy Train comes from the Pacific Northwest by way of TGA Genetics, which apparently thought the strain was so crazy that it required an alternate spelling. In TGA’s defense, the hybrid strain is pretty fucking wild. I’ll admit to overusing the word “orgy” in my day-to-day vocabulary as much as the next douche, so let’s just say Qrazy Train was born from one legendary strain-bang. TGA combined Purple Urkle, Space Queen, Trainwreck and Trinity genetics for a four-way flavor bomb sure to impress any weed snob.
I always enjoy strains that keep their flavor after the first hit without being overpowering, and Qrazy Train provides a smooth ride until the bowl is cashed. Sweet, tangy flavors of citrus and small hints of diesel and mint create a potent but relaxing mix that even a casual toker might appreciate. Its smell, almost exactly like its flavor, is subtle but impressive. Leave an open bottle of it in your car, though, and you’ll be driving with the windows down for the rest of the day.
Qrazy Train fits most qualifications for a well-balanced sativa, but not all of them. The bump in energy and lack of paranoia are welcome characteristics, but concentration begins to leak after the second or third hit. And with such a tempting flavor profile, it’s hard to keep yourself from clearing the entire bowl — trust me. But who cares if it’s not the perfect sativa? Steak makes me fart a lot, but that doesn’t stop me from loving it.
Boulder Botanics, Mile High Green Cross (by way of Champion Cannabis’s wholesale grow), Northern Lights and the Green Solution have all recently carried Qrazy Train. Champion’s cut has been the Qraziest I’ve tried, with delicious tangerine flavors and potent buzz. I’ve also heard great things about Northern Light’s take, but unfortunately, it’s always on the medical side when I stop in.
Looks: Qrazy Train’s buds grow tall and wide like a sativa’s, and they tend to be open instead of dense. But the buds can also be round and oblong despite their spear-shaped calyxes. The plants have a rich, forest-green color and violet leaves that pair beautifully with trichomes and bright-orange pistils.
Smell: Like a skunky blend of citrus tea, Qrazy Train has tart, floral and zesty notes that smell like a minty tangerine. Even a novice smoker can tell this is a sativa after a sniff.
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Flavor: The flavor follows the smell’s lead perfectly, with a tangy citrus taste followed by fresh herbal notes and skunky diesel flavors. A perfect pot aperitif for a summer meal, and a fine pairing with sour and wheat beers.
Effects: Although Qrazy Train leans sativa, there are phenotypes that can be closer to a fifty-fifty hybrid. Most cuts provide euphoric, invigorating effects safe from paranoia and drowsiness — but one puff too many can make things loopy. Cloudy heads and lack of focus are common if you overdo it. Medical benefits include treatment for stress, lack of appetite, nausea, minor pain and headaches.
Home grower’s take: “This is a weird one, because I never see its THC percentage listed any higher than 20 percent, but it can really fuck you up. Guess that’s the Trainwreck coming out of it. Qrazy Train is a good choice for any grower, though. It yields heavy, only takes about eight weeks to flower, and isn’t very difficult if you know how to split and top the plant early on. Solid sativa effects, but the smell is the star, I think.”
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