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What's With the Mexi-Mullet?

By Gustavo Arellano
Sep 4, 2014

Dear Mexican: I'm from the southeastern United States, and people think — correctly, in some cases (see: Bush, G.W.) — that everyone here is dumb. Is there a similar place in Mexico where other Mexicans think the people are inbred mouth-breathers?Swanee Señor Dear Gabacho: Jalisco. Dear Mexican: I am a...
Why Don't Mexican-American Students Do Better in School?

By Gustavo Arellano
Aug 28, 2014

Dear Mexican: I see lots of Mexican-Americans struggling in grade school and high school. Many Mexican-American activists claim it's because they don't speak English at home or the schools don't teach them well. But I see lots of Asian-Americans in the same schools who do really well. Many of them...
Dear Mexican: Why Do Mexicans Let Their Children Watch Violent Movies?

By Gustavo Arellano
Aug 21, 2014

Dear Readers: The Mexican just got married to a chica caliente, and he's taking her on a honeymoon to the motherland so she can learn the proper art of tortilla-making. In the meantime, I offer this Best Of edition, because I plan to do all of my work this week...
Dear Mexican: Why Is the Legalization Process So Difficult?

By Gustavo Arellano
Aug 14, 2014

Dear Mexican: I'm not Mexican, but my son-in-law is. He is intelligent, bright, enthusiastic and pleasant to spend time with. He came here, illegally, at the age of eighteen, with his aunts. He and my daughter are married, have a three-and-a-half-year-old son, and have gone through the entire process of...
Dear Mexican: Why Aren't More Mexicans Gettin' It On?

By Gustavo Arellano
Aug 7, 2014

Dear Mexican: I'm a handsome exemplar of the bronce race living in the motherland. I'm dating a beautiful and wonderful gringuita who is soon taking a trip over the border from the U.S. to Mexico for the first time to visit me and my pinche big family. There are a...
Dear Mexican: All Mexican food is the same

By Gustavo Arellano
Jul 31, 2014

Dear Mexican: What is with the many gringos/gabachos who constantly slaughter Spanish words? Spanish is easy to pronounce (and spell) compared to English. The vowels (a, e, i, o, u) are always pronounced the same way. In English, vowels vary a lot — difficult for new learners. All of the...
Dear Mexican: Why do your people stay in the U.S.?

By Gustavo Arellano
Jul 24, 2014

Dear Mexican: I am from an Arabic-speaking country. After my education is completed here, I'll be returning to my country or to Kuala Lumpur. Since I've been in this country, I've noticed there's a rising tide of hatred toward Mexicans. I've talked to Mexicans, and they all say they're proud...
Dear Mexican: What do you think about going back to Europe?

By Gustavo Arellano
Jul 17, 2014

Dear Mexican: I have some questions and observations. During George W. Bush's administration, there was a lot of talk about comprehensive immigration reform (amnesty, to some). One remark that I recall was made by a Mexican and was something like, "Go back to Europe!" Aren't Mexicans of European descent, also?...
Dear Mexican: Why don't many Mexicans smoke?

By Gustavo Arellano
Jul 10, 2014

Dear Mexican: I noticed that Mexican people don't generally smoke. I'm not condoning smoking, but it's interesting to see how some groups do or don't smoke, and I have yet to see a Mexican person smoke cigarettes. Does the tobacco industry not target Latinos?Fulminating Fumador Dear Gabacho Smoker: American Lung...
Dear Mexican: What if the U.S. had helped Latin America decades ago?

By Gustavo Arellano
Jul 3, 2014

Dear Mexican: The tragedy currently playing out on the U.S. southern border has reminded me to once again ask my (slightly tweaked) question, posed three years ago and perhaps more relevant than ever: If the U.S. had sponsored and funded infrastructural, educational, social and economic development in Mexico and Central...
Dear Mexican: What makes a Mexican Mexican?

By Gustavo Arellano
Jun 26, 2014

Dear Mexican: I think I might be Mexican, but there are some people who might disagree. Being that you are the source of all knowledge mexicano, I thought I might ask you. Here's the deal: My ancestors left the U.S. in 1847 knowingly and entered recognized territorio mexicano. The U.S...
Dear Mexican: What's with all the drag shows at Mexican gay bars?

By Gustavo Arellano
Jun 19, 2014

Dear Mexican: Why do some Mexicans expect us to learn Spanish instead of them learning English? (Note: I said some, not most or all!) I'm offended whenever I am assaulted by listening to anything in Spanish on phone menus or see it on forms that I have to fill out...
Dear Mexican: Why do gringos fantasize about dark skin?

By Gustavo Arellano
Jun 12, 2014

Dear Mexican: If dark-skinned people are so "undesirable," unwelcome and put down by gringos, how come gringos bake in the sun like zopilotes to get dark? Summer is fantasy time for all of them, when they can actually get some color in that white skin of theirs. Maybe the whole...
Dear Mexican: Why does everyone think I'm the sales rep?

By Gustavo Arellano
Jun 5, 2014

Dear Mexican: I am a Mexican who owns a successful wholesale liquidation business, which happens to be an industry dominated by Jews and Asians and some gringos. So why does almost everyone, including mexicanos, who visits my warehouse think my business — or any successful business, for that matter —...
Dear Mexican: Is chica too familiar?

By Gustavo Arellano
May 29, 2014

Dear Mexican: While vacationing in Mexico, a couple of times I have had vendors or waiters address me as chica. I didn't think much about it at the time, but while relating a conversation with one of these guys to a Mexican friend of mine back in the U.S., he...
Dear Mexican: Can't we root for both World Cup teams?

By Gustavo Arellano
May 22, 2014

Dear Mexican: I'm a half mexicana/half gabacha working as an appointment scheduler in a medical office. I'm one of a handful of schedulers there who speak Spanish. I've noticed in the years I've been working in this field that about seven to eight times out of ten, when a Spanish-speaking...
Do Mexicans have a fear of feminization?

By Gustavo Arellano
May 15, 2014

Dear Mexican: Our graphic artist walked out of the room the other day pissed because the publisher asked my opinion on a Cinco de Mayo advertisement they were planning to publish and ended up publishing. The graphic showed a row of chickens with sombreros. The publisher asked if I thought...
Dear Mexican: What's so funny about Sancho?

By Gustavo Arellano
May 8, 2014

Dear Mexican: I'm a pocha and my husband is a gabacho (by the way, we loved the explanation in your book on why Mexicans and Irish get along so well; it really explained a lot about our marriage). We had the rehearsal dinner for our wedding catered by one of...
Dear Mexican: Is there a pecking order for day laborers?

By Gustavo Arellano
May 1, 2014

Dear Mexican: Is there a pecking order at the places where you see day laborers waiting to be hired? What's the hierarchy? Are all those dudes Mexican, or are some Central and South American, and if so, who has priority when the random contractor comes by to pick up a...
Dear Mexican: Who's bilingual in the U.S.?

By Gustavo Arellano
Apr 24, 2014

Dear Mexican: Our grandparents came from Mexico. The entire next generation spoke Spanish. However, in my generation, pretty much none of us do. One cousin's daughter does because the cousin married a fluently bilingual person. Most white people I know have long ago lost both awareness of what their actual...
Dear Mexican: Where did "Latino" come from?

By Gustavo Arellano
Apr 17, 2014

Dear Mexican: I like reading your articles — they are funny, sad, insightful, crude, serious and even a little provocative and antagonizing at times. One thing I find a little antagonizing is the use of the term "Latino" as a synonym only for "Hispanic." I've noticed that you tend to...
Dear Mexican: Is the word "mande" a sign of submissiveness?

By Gustavo Arellano
Apr 10, 2014

Dear Mexican: The use of the expression ¿Mande? (command me) by Mexicans has always struck me, though I have seen it happen with less frequency in the twenty years since I came to the United States. I personally see it as a symbolic legacy of submission, probably originating from the...