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Il Divo

This review is not an indictment of Il Divo, despite the crimes its members have committed against the human eardrum. Likewise, it isn't intended to assail either American Idol's Simon Cowell, the professional prick who assembled this pop-operatic boy band, or the material that makes up Ancora -- including a Spanish-language version of Eric Carmen's "All by Myself" so nauseatingly lugubrious that it's capable of triggering mass suicide. Instead, the focus is on U.S. consumers, who have some questions to answer regarding their love for the album, which debuted at number one on Billboard's charts and remains one of the best-selling platters in America.

To wit: What the hell were you thinking? Don't you realize that if thousands of you buy copies of this disc, evil record companies will make more CDs just like it? No one cares if you're a masochist, but couldn't you have stopped to consider the damage you're doing to people who don't share your perverse predilections?

Clearly, Il Divo fans owe the rest of us an apology. I'm waiting...