This just in: Evidently, it's not all puppy dogs and rainbows in the porn industry. As these adult entertainment stars point out, "We made it just for you," assuring us that, "We in the adult entertainment family love and appreciate our fans," or the real kicker, "We work hard to entertain you and arouse you, so please show your support by buying our product." The message is clear: If you're going to consume, for chrissakes, at least have the decency to chip in! Pshaw! If this isn't one of the stranger ad campaigns in history we don't know what it is -- well, other than the really weird five you'll find after the jump.
05. Anti-CocaineOh my god, everyone is on cocaine right now -- high schoolers, street people and movie stars. What are we going to do? After watching this PSA we actually really want to start doing coke. They make it sound great. Wait, wait, wait -- it's 100x as awesome as a sexual climax? Take that, porn industry PSA.
04. SexThe Groovy New Feelings are one of our favorite bands, and we're really into this new jam. Our favorite line, "A-rappy-rap-rap-a-ringa-ringa-dong, this is how the penis and vagina get along." So true. You here that, porn-ladies? That's how it works.
03. Don't you put it in your mouthWell, we imagine this one is pretty self-explanatory. We were humming this in the hallway earlier today -- it's just that catchy. Remember, "Always ask someone you love before you put anything in your mouth." Hey, maybe the porn folks should have used that line to grab our attention instead.
02. Domestic violence It took a bit of research to figure out if this was real -- and it appears it is indeed real. They were never approved for television for some reason, which is weird, since this one seems perfectly acceptable to us. We think the porn peeps could probably use this one for a movie setup -- er, without the whole punching part.
01. Prevent AccidentsThis commercial proves once and for all that the Canadians have way better public service announcements than us. Just watch the part where she slips and falls. Watch it again. And again. And again. This is way better than any free porn download. We're uh, going to go clean up the office now or something.
