The basic package will net you thirty records and costs $3093 -- which, if you ask us, isn't too much to ask for eternal remembrance. You'll have a wide array of options to choose from too, you can record a spoken word file, music or even silence, if you want to spook out your grandchildren, for some reason.
There are plenty of bonus options, as well, including a professional portrait and our favorite, "Travel the world," in which your record will be distributed in record shops around the world, meaning that if you've got a well-placed name (say, Jami Handrix) you'll likely get picked up by some random kid, potentially changing his life forever.
Of course, if you're hoping to go out with more of a bang than this, pets are also accepted. This begs the question, if copyright weren't an issue, what song would you put on the record made from your cremated ashes?
We'd opt for Dead or Alive's "You Spin me Round," but that's just because we can't seem to stop the terrible puns from coming out.
Order yours today.