Well, the Love Maine Lobster Company now lets you pick your own live lobster from an arcade-style tank. All you need is a pocketful of quarters and a sick desire to see your dinner try to escape the grasp of a metal claw. Oh, and the $15,950 to buy a Claw Game.
And once you have your terrified, exhausted crustacean, how do you cook it? Why, with the microwave lobster steamer from the same company. Clasp the critter in the steamer -- which looks like a plastic take-out container -- and add a few tablespoons of water, then nuke on high for about 7 minutes.
The company claims this is "the most humane method of cooking lobster." (And if you've ever dispatched a lobster, you know that leaves a lot of room, since it's never a very pleasant experience -- even if the lobsters do not actually scream.) But if you've selected your lobster from the arcade-style tank, it might be time for a little humanity.