Yes, seriously. Because, he says, if you eat like him, you can be like him. Which is all we want in life.
In the lengthy clip, Sheen, the "rock star Vatican assassin," makes a salad and steak while teleporting; uses a cooking wand; claims that his fingertips radiate sunshine; smokes enough cigs to clog a chimney; wrongly rhymes "Zagat" with "maggot" and then washes down his food with tea made from ground dinosaur fossils.
Here's the crazy skit: