Not for the faint of heart: Second City delivers a romantic comedy for the iPhone age

If you're looking for the perfect date-night destination, keep on looking. Love, Sex & the Second City isn't a show for a first date -- because it's about first dates and why we never make it to that second one... or the third...or the fourth.

Love, Sex & the Second City features video appearances of the always-funny Fred Willard as our guide to finding love and keeping love, in his role as the iLove app guy.

Dolling out advice via pre-recorded clips shown on a giant iPhone screen, Willard is Hitch-meets-Mark Zuckerburg-meets-Plenty of Fish -- and his monologues connect the interspersed story lines, somehow tying together the dating lives of the hopeless Dorinda (Amy Roeder), the even more hopeless Edrick (Ed Kross) and the polarized couple, Allie (Angela Dawe) and Travis (Zach Muhn).

Amy Roeder truly steals the show as the caged sex kitten, Dorinda -- think Lisa Loeb, but more feisty and desperate. According to the iLove profile, Dorinda has a lot going for her: she's funny, knows how to spark a conversation -- or not, as we see during the surefire hilarity of an improvisational blind-date dinner with a lucky audience member -- and she is a falconer. She even brings her chainmail glove along on one of her dates. In another scene, Dorinda lets her mind wander while on the light rail: "Rebecca felt her lady purse get the biggest deposit of her life," she daydreams.

Then there's Edrick. You can't help but laugh at the way Ed Kross brings life to what could otherwise be just another eHarmony iLove user with his uncanny comedic timing. Despite being an upper-level Dungeons & Dragons player, Edrick is so clueless, he wouldn't know a manther if he bit Edrick in the ass. In fact, in one scene, an older, seemingly more experienced gentleman (Muhn) pulls out all the stops to bed the naive and admittedly straight Edrick. In another, Edrick is caught in a turf war between his car's female OnStar advisor and the woman who takes his drive-thru order at Wendy's; it's a battle of the intercom voices, and it's the last thing any single man would wish upon himself when he thinks of the word "threesome."

There's no element of dating and sex that this show misses. It's all here, packed into a 105-minute show, from men crying during sex to speed dating, egg fertilization to failed bachelor parties. The spot-on examination of wedding registries -- "a socially acceptable way to get a lot of shiiiiiiiiiiit" -- is hilarious, while the pre-ceremony discussion between the groom-to-be (Muhn) and his father (Kross) hits like a kick to the family jewels. You won't be able to breathe, you'll be laughing so hard.

By the end of the show, iLove -- and Fred Willard -- have taught us two things: All men do dumb shit, and all women want to be as fun and sexy as their online dating profiles make them out to be. Good luck with that.

"Love, Sex & The Second City" runs now through October 9 at the Garner Galleria Theatre of the Denver Center for the Performing Arts. Tickets start at $24 and are available at the Denver Center's "Love, Sexy & The Second City" website.