Swing dance tonight at the Mercury Cafe -- for free

Hey there, hepcat, wondering why your old lady's so down on you? Probably because the flame has gone out of your relationship and your wardrobe options have been reduced to sports-themed warm-up pants -- but it also might just be because you haven't taken her out dancing in a while. If the latter is the case, then tonight, you're in luck, because the Mercury Cafe is dropping the charge tonight from its Thursday night swing-dancing party, which normally would run you $6. Don't know how to swing dance? You're in luck there, too.

Though, admittedly, not quite as in luck as you are on just the swing dancing. The Merc also hosts classes each Thursday before the party, so you can learn how to move those hips and then apply what you've learned to actual hip-moving. The classes tonight, however, are not free. As always, you can show up at 7 p.m. and pay $10 for one class or $30 for a month of them, at the end of which you'll be jitterbugging like a pro. Or at least as well as David Hasselhoff.

You will, however, save the $6 on dancing. The party gets started at 8 p.m. at the Merc, 2199 California Street, and if you don't know how to dance and you're too cheapskate to pony up for the classes, just show up anyway -- there are always a lot of people willing to show you a few moves if you're willing to ask.

Besides, your old lady will thank you.