Arts and Culture

Victory is partially mine! How I defeated a pigeon but not a chicken on a moped (video)

Since time immemorial, man has dreamed of flight. We now know that was a stupid dream, because yesterday I proved once and for all -- on behalf of myself and all mankind, except for Erin Roberts, who was wearing a chicken suit like some kind of fucking Benedict Arnold -- that not only is man superior to birds in every way, but he can also win a race with one on a bicycle. Well, to be fair, I didn't actually, like, win win the race, but I did soundly defeat that Stupid Pigeon, which is what counts. And the decks were stacked against me.