Things to Do

Day Four: Wherein I Get a New Roommate/Serial Killer

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107 degrees today. The hottest temperature ever recorded on Earth’s surface was 134-degrees. I can’t fathom those extra 27 degrees. The Sun is dying, and I got a new roommate today. His name is John, he’s from Florida and he’s working on his Ph.D. in Mayan Archeology.

I have a two-bedroom apartment, so to save some money on rent, I’m renting out the second room. This is a Craigslist connection, so he could be cool, or he could be a serial killer on the run. That’s the magic and mystery of Craigslist!

It’s weird having a stranger around. We both go for the fridge door at the same time, and then both step back. We have to learn the dance of strangers. When he is gone I scrutinize the food he has purchased, his movie collection, and his dishes. I’m hunting (okay, snooping) for personality secrets. The soymilk says vegetarian, but then the sliced turkey throws me off. Backsliding veggie or maybe lactose intolerant? Wait, there’s some cheddar. Dammit!

He says he’s from Florida but here’s a collectible cup from Park City, Utah. I knew he was a serial killer. -- Andrew Orvedahl Andrew Orvedahl is a comedian, and person, born and raised in Denver who recently moved from sweet Denver to Riverside, California. He hopes this Week in the Life blog series will provide a tiny glimpse into the magnitude of regret he feels.