Man Gives His Tattoo Breast Implants

If you've not yet finished your Christmas shopping, here's a great gift idea for the man who has everything. It's this simple: there's this guy in Canada who just had breast implants in his leg.

His left leg, to be specific. And it's not like there's no reason; Canadian body-art enthusiast Lane Jensen had the implants done to enhance the huge-chested cowgirl-stripper tattoo that he already boasted there on his calf. It's a tastefully piece of art, this woman: the vaguely shapeless hat coming down demurely over her eyes, suggesting perhaps her innate introversion despite what her revealing and somewhat aggressive attire might suggest. (Either that, or the tattoo guy sucked at drawing eyes.) I especially like the way two long straps are holding up her underpants, if you can actually classify call that triangular piece of cloth under "pants" in any true sense. And if her costume didn't explain enough, it's evident that the woman in this tattoo eschews the traditional forms of beauty; she wears something of a sneer, as if to dare us to judge her. This is no mere book, no simple cover by which to judge.

And even moreso, now. This is a tattoo that's now in glorious 3-D. Sort of. Actually, the implant, whatever it was made of, doesn't really lift and separate in the way that the cross-your-heart bras used to promise. It's just sort of a lump in his leg with suggestive placement. And there are practical concerns, too. Not so much how he'll show it off, though that question did occur to me, but how it might impede his normal day-to-day activity? Will women find it as much of a draw as the man bearing it? And ironically, considering the subject of the tattoo itself, will this new piece of body art prevent him from wearing cowboy boots? There would seem to be a chafing issue possible there.

In any case, implant tattoos certainly enter a brave new world, one of ink and silicone, of tasteful self-expression through body art. And plus, the guy now has boobs on his leg. And really, for who among us has that not been a dream? -- Teague Bohlen