The Vagabond Painting Tribe Strikes Again

The following was filed with the Denver Police Department earlier this month:

“A group of idiots apparently wants some attention so they used wonderfully colorful markers or paint and ‘tagged’ my garage with their very skillful scripted language that apparently no human being can come close to reading what it is they are trying to say. The legible portion of this foreign language reads ‘Alpha’ followed by something that appears to the word ‘boii’. I don’t know if this some sort of indigenous language but apparently writing it on garage doors of people they don’t know is a sign of them marking their territory much like an untrained animal. I have contacted the Graffiti hotline to have the illegible and unintelligible script removed from my door. If you happen to catch a member of this vagabond painting tribe please let them know that I normaly (sic) would pay someone to paint my property in colors that I choose and would be willing to employ them for a small fee."