Breaking: College professors might be kind of liberal

"So, class, is this Alaska bitch hot or what? Three pages double-spaced by Friday."

A not-very-subtle professor at Denver's Metropolitan State is drawing the ire of conservative lawmakers and, in all likelihood, his stealthier liberal colleagues, by assigning his students to write essays critiquing potential VPILF Sarah Palin.

The adjunct instructor, Andrew Hallam, has not been available for comment since one of his students went to a Denver TV station with an allegation that he bullied and harassed conservative students.

Hallam is teaching two classes this semester, his first at Metro State, according to the school. ...

According to the conservative news website, Hallam assigned students to write about Palin, noting "her body language, facial expressions, the way she dressed, what she said and who she pointed out or talked about in her speech. How do these elements form a 'fairy tale' image about Sarah Palin as a person and as a politician that the Republican Party may wish its members and the American public to believe?"

"Dude, you're blowing our cover," said every other professor at Metro, as they scrambled to remove Howard Zinn from their MySpace page and hastily threw their bongs out their office windows.

The story recalls a controversial decision by CU Boulder to endow a "conservative chair" on its faculty , a decision that forced the city to temporarily deactivate its Republican Force Field and suspend its weekly abortions-in-the-street parties. -- Joe Tone