Man gets rocks off in pathetic 7-Eleven robbery

Even under the best of circumstances, the act of robbing a convenience store for the sake of a handful of singles in ready cash has to be one of the dumbest crimes imaginable, just on a simple risk-to-benefit scale. But for absolute desperation, nothing beats jacking a 7-Eleven at three...

By Alan Prendergast

April 26, 2012

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Even under the best of circumstances, the act of robbing a convenience store for the sake of a handful of singles in ready cash has to be one of the dumbest crimes imaginable, just on a simple risk-to-benefit scale. But for absolute desperation, nothing beats jacking a 7-Eleven at three in the morning, armed with one mean-looking rock -- the latest development in what's shaping up to be a stone-age crime spree in Colorado Springs.

According to an item in the official Colorado Springs Police Blotter, a man brandishing a "large rock" entered a 7-Eleven in southeast Colorado Springs in the wee hours of Thursday morning and demanded money. The clerk gave him cash from the register, but he also swiped a charity contribution jar on his way out.

The Gazette's report on this sad little heist notes that last week someone armed with a brick robbed an Arby's on the west side of town. No word yet on whether the crimes are connected -- other than the fact that the perps appear to be dumber than a bag of, well, you know.

In the 7-Eleven robbery, police are searching for a suspect described as "a black male, 30 to 40 years of age, medium build, wearing a blue running suit, blue bandanna on his head and black sunglasses."

Note to convenience store clerks in training: customers who show up at three a.m. in sunglasses, rock in hand, are generally trouble.

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Alan Prendergast is a former staff writer at Westword and is now a senior contributor. He writes about various topics but primarily focuses on news. He’s contributed to Rolling Stone, Los Angeles Times, Outside, USA Today, Men's Journal and other publications and is the author of two nonfiction books, Gangbuster: One Man's Battle Against Crime and The Poison Tree: A True Story of Family Violence and Revenge. He’s earned numerous accolades for his work including the Eugene Pulliam National Journalism Writing Award and two national feature writing awards from the Society of Professional Journalists.

Contact: Alan Prendergast

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