Politically correct parents supress kid's inner hamster huckster: Kenny Be's Sign Language

The nine simple words of the sign posted on the Fort Logan streetlight above speak volumes. Look closely at the words. The child who made this sign was going to write "Hamsters For Sale," but was coerced to erase and reword the sentence to read as the less exploitive "Hamsters Up For Adoption."

The winking admission (Adoption Fee: $10.00) lets everyone know that the little money-grubber will still make a little hamster scratch on the deal. The dishonest semantics lesson: Priceless.

Parents, who who are hounded by dog-wanting children often think of a hamster as a mini-responsibility starter pet. Think again. Here's proof that hamsters are a gateway pet that will ruin a kid's life faster than a heroin habit...

If any parent needs proof of why they should teach their kids to "just say no to hamsters," look no further than the bottom line of the hamster adoption poster pictured above. What normal thinking child would want to spend ten daylight hours, on both days of the weekend, trying to get rid of find forever homes for their hamsters if they were not crazy desperate?

Baby hamsters reach sexual maturity in four to five weeks, and it is nearly impossible to tell the sex of a hamster until there are suddenly twenty of them. Running a hamster orphanage may seem like a lot of work, but to the duplicitous parent, it is an activity that promises to keep a kid tied up at home and out of the streets.