Dear Stoner: I Want a Good Head/Body High

Dear Stoner: I love the variety of strains in the dispensaries, but haven’t found a good head/body combination. I don’t like to become a zombie, but the sativas are making me a little too paranoid. Is there any pot that will keep me active without the anxiety?
Linda Lou

Dear Linda: They say that once you get the yips, it’s almost impossible to get rid of them. You wouldn’t be the first toker scared away from the mind-bending strength of super-sativas like Durban Poison, Green Crack or Sour Diesel, but you still have plenty of options, thanks to the boom in cross-breeding. Because of the psychoactive properties in cannabinoids, you can never fully predict how strains will affect an individual, but it sounds like you want a hybrid.

Hybrids come in all flavors and indica/sativa ratios. If you aren’t a big fan of the indica comedown and subsequent nap, then you probably want a sativa-leaning hybrid or a fifty-fifty split, at the very least. I just reviewed a fantastic hybrid for this week’s Strain Gang, but Casey Jones and Girl Scout Cookies are two readily available sativa-dominant hybrids that have given me clear highs with almost no hangover, and Flo and Pac-10 are some near-fifty-fifty splits that start out extremely cerebral and end with very manageable aftereffects. If that doesn’t work, then maybe cannabis isn’t for you.

Dear Stoner: I have migraine issues and want to become a medical marijuana patient, but I just moved to Boulder. Do I need to be a registered Coloradan to get my MMJ card?

Dear Willy:
Although you don’t need a Colorado ID to get a medical marijuana prescription, you do need proof that you live in Colorado. When applying for an MMJ card, include a “Proof of Identity and Residency Waiver Request” form, which asks for anything that would prove that you live here: bank statements, utility bills, pay stubs, vehicle registration, etc. Everything you send in must have your Colorado address on it, as well as a postmark under sixty days old. Be sure to compile as much evidence as you can, because the form says it will “consider the totality” of what you submit. Check out the requirements at

It just might be worth the trouble of getting a Colorado driver’s license. It’ll make your application process easier and faster, and you’ll be able to buy more at recreational dispensaries while you wait to hear back from the state. Or ask your evaluating physician for guidance. Most of them have dealt with much harder registration issues than proving residency.

Got a question for our stoner? Hit us up at [email protected] or leave a message on the potline at 303-293-2222.