Why has it been so long since we introduced you to a new Schmuck of the Week?
We were just waiting for the right person to come along. And Nicholas Olson definitely fits the bill.
Olson is accused of making "verbal sexual advances" to a female police officer — actions that definitely stood out, as it were, since at the time, the only thing he wore was a pair of iPod headphones.
The story comes to us from the Aspen Times, which has been tracking Olson's shenanigans for quite some time. In May 2015, the paper notes, he became acquainted with members of the Aspen Police Department after being found sleeping in the stairwell of a tony restaurant, Casa Tua. Then, last July, cops found him dancing in the middle of Castle Creek Road, allegedly under the influence of meth — a substance he was arrested for possessing the following month.
But on Sunday, September 11, police say he took things to the next level.
At 6:15 p.m. that evening, officers were called to the spectacular Limelight Hotel....
...on a report that Olson was passed out on the establishment's front lawn.
He was gone by the time they arrived.
However, they managed to track him down a couple of blocks away, at which point he asked a sergeant on the scene for some meth.
That was pretty standard behavior for Olson, so the cops sent him on his way. But they had to take action just under two hours later, when they spotted him near the intersection of South Monarch Street and Hopkins Avenue.
The reason was as plain as the penis on Olson's body, which was in view because he'd ditched his clothes, reportedly in order to "feel free" as he listened to his iPod.
At that point, a female officer told Olson to get dressed — an order to which he allegedly responded by making what the Times refers to as "verbal sexual advances toward the officer."
In response, Olson was given something to wear: a set of handcuffs.
This choice of attire doesn't appear to have thrilled him much. He's accused of being uncooperative when the cops tried to put him into their patrol car, then refusing to leave it once they got to jail, where he was booked on suspicion of indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.
Fortunately, his mood seems to have improved by the time he stepped before the jail photographer. The smile in his mug shot matches the one we put on to mark Schmuck of the Week's return.