Schmuck of the Week

Jordan Dry's Lawyer Told Him "Not to Say Sh*t Like This on the Phone." Here's Why.

Ruth and Jordan Dry during happier times.
Ruth and Jordan Dry during happier times.
Jordan Dry, who was already in jail on drugs and weapons allegations, has now been accused of witness tampering for saying exactly what his lawyer told him not to over a monitored jail phone before claiming, "I don’t want to get any kind of tampering charges or anything."

He may not want to be named our latest Schmuck of the Week, either. But that's happening, too.

A resident of the Grand Junction area, Dry is now 24, but he's been making news for years. At age sixteen and already considered a serial offender, he was busted for stealing items from unlocked cars, supposedly to raise money for a pal's bail — and despite his age, Mesa County District Attorney Pete Hautzinger used a controversial technique called direct file to charge him as an adult. In response to questions for a 2012 Denver Post article about why this tactic was justified given the apparently minor offense, Hautzinger said, "If there’s not any meaningful consequence, the person is not going to be rehabilitated. They’re just going to become criminals as adults."

Looks like that happened anyway in Dry's case — and even though he's spent plenty of time behind bars over the years, he apparently forgot that authorities can listen in to detention center calls.

click to enlarge Jordan Dry as a teen in trouble and a grownup arrestee. - MESA COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE
Jordan Dry as a teen in trouble and a grownup arrestee.
Mesa County Sheriff's Office
He got another chance to learn this lesson in May, when he was busted after guns and black-tar heroin were found in his home. According to an arrest affidavit from the Western Colorado Drug Task Force obtained by the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel, he subsequently made a jailhouse call to his wife, Ruth Dry, in which he said a friend needed to acknowledge that the smack actually belonged to him.

"You know, if he would just admit that it was was his, then I wouldn't have the charges," the report quotes Dry as saying. "But, I mean, I probably shouldn't talk about it over the phone."

Right he was, since trying to influence the testimony of a witness is the definition of tampering — and he appears to have understood that trying to convince Ruth or anyone else to help get his pal to come forward was a potential violation. Another section of the affidavit maintains that he said, "The lawyer told me not to even say shit like this on the phone. I'm such an idiot. I don't know why I fucking can't keep that shit to myself."

And he couldn't. According to the document, he raised the subject multiple times over a span of weeks, all in the context of convincing the supposed owner of the heroin to come clean. But in a July conversation with his beloved, he expressed relief that another acquaintance hadn't spoken to the friend on his behalf, since the result could have been construed as tampering.

Which it was anyhow. Dry is currently being held on a hefty $50,000 bond, which prosecutors say is necessary because he also talked to Ruth about getting the hell out of town at their first opportunity.

That sound you just heard was Dry's attorney slapping his head....