Last week we took a look at five terrible holiday song parodies that took existing holiday songs and turned them into something else altogether. That's all well and good, but it's actually not the worst of what we found. Nope, that honor is reserved for those that turn existing pop songs into holiday songs, a tradition as old as the radio and bad as can be. We've got our picks for the worst after the jump, but if you've heard any that are more offensive, feel free to sound off in the comments.
5. Mary and Joseph via "The Brady Bunch Theme Song"
How do you make one of the most annoying theme songs of all time worse? Well, you add a thick layer of holiday joy, toss in some singing kids and distribute it across the globe, of course. If their goal was to make the story of Christmas unbearable, they certainly succeeded.
4. "Bohemian Rhapsody Christmas"
Oh. My. God. It's hard to render us totally speechless with a song, but this one is so ripe for the picking it's hard to add much. If you make it all the way through the video, we commend you, but we also request that you stay at least fifty feet away at all times.
3. "Poker Claus"
Every year we get a topical Christmas parody, and while we were hoping someone would have done a reasonable enough version of "California Girls" or "TiK ToK," we get "Poker Face" instead. To be clear, there are versions of the other two songs, but they're embarrassing teen-produced webcam nonsense and not worth your time. Not that this is much different, but it's put together well enough that we don't feel bad making fun of it. Her costumes are spot-on, but the song is so ridiculously stupid, no costume on the planet could save it.
2. "Santa in the Sky With Reindeer!"
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We're pretty fond of the copyright in the corner of this video, mostly because any parody artist who copyrights his work has to have a completely delusional mind. To top it off, the song is just terrible, turning the classic Beatles track into something that even William Shatner wouldn't touch.
1. "Beautiful Christmas"
We'll certainly give these guys credit for capturing the aesthetics of the original Marilyn Manson video, but that doesn't make up for the fact that this even exists. We were almost willing to discount it as just bad and not the worst until we got to the part with the throaty screaming. If we ever need to ruin Christmas, this should work perfectly.