I had a one-night stand, and now I'm too embarrassed to call the guy back. What now?

Welcome to Ask Willie D, where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

Dear Willie D,

I would like to advise your readers of something. I used to be a waitress at a nice restaurant in Houston, and I actually witnessed the owner of the restaurant spit in someone's food. I've also seen an employee blow snot into soup and pick up dropped food off the floor and put it onto customers' plates. I heard about this type of stuff going on, but not until I saw it with my own eyes did I understand the scope of the problem.

See also: - I'm a twenty-year-old virgin. How can I make magic happen? - Help! My husband's a Neanderthal - Another man gave my girl flowers: Am I right to be bothered?

People have no idea how nasty and unhealthy restaurants can be. Because I do know, I stopped eating out all together. Cops are huge targets. Needy and picky customers can expect a little extra dressing in their dressing.

Likewise, lousy tippers and rude customers almost always get the special-sauce treatment, if you know what I mean. But sometimes a customer can be the nicest, most polite person on earth and still have the misfortune of being targeted or eating food prepared by a cook with open sores on his hand or a prep with a cold who coughed over his meal.

Some people who work at restaurants are just mean-spirited jackasses who will lick your food or spit on it strictly for entertainment purposes. If you're going to eat at a restaurant, I suggest dining at one that has an open kitchen. Even if you can't see your food being prepared, others likely will and you'll stand less of a chance having your food contaminated because employees know they're being watched. I also think wearing gloves should be mandated and cameras should be required in all restaurant kitchens and monitors placed where customers can see what's going on.

It won't stop the disgusting acts that occur in restaurants, but it will reduce them.

Dear Helpful Waitress,

Thanks for the tip. You just further provoked me to eat home-cooked meals. I accept all the deterrent measures you listed and will raise you one. Tampering with someone's food is already against the law. How about passing legislation to give a minimum $1,000 reward to whistleblowers and hand out drug dealer style sentences?

If that happened, when restaurant employees encounter a bad customer or they just feel like being foul, imagine how many cooks and waiters will learn to suck it up rather than spit it out.


Dear Willie D,

Until recently, I thought of girls who had one-night stands as sluts. I just got out of a lengthy relationship and hadn't been out in weeks. Being that I was feeling a little doleful, when my friend asked me to meet her at a bar for drinks with a couple of guy friends of hers. I jumped at the opportunity. When I arrived, the three of them were already on their second round of drinks and quite loose. The guy who she matched me with was nice-looking, fun and easy to talk to.

During one of my friend's many trips to the bathroom, I had become comfortable enough with my new guy friend to exchange numbers. After another round of drinks and cheap food, each of us hopped in our cars, and went our separate ways. On my way home, I got a call from my new guy friend. After a few minutes he said he really liked me and wished the night didn't have to end. I told him I was going home, and promptly dispelled any thoughts of sexual adventures.

When I got home, I noticed my ex-boyfriend's car in my driveway parked with the lights off and him sitting inside. Not feeling like dealing with the drama, I called my new friend back, and told him about my predicament. Long story short, he invited me to his house. We talked, laughed, drank and had sex. I know he likes me because it's been a week, and he's called me several times. But I haven't called back because I'm embarrassed about having a sex with a man I only knew for a few hours.

I'm the serious-dating type and I don't see this going anywhere because I know he'll never respect me. Am I over-analyzing the situation?

Dear Serious Dating Type,

Being the kind of person you are, even if your new guy friend were to give you a pass on having no-strings-attached sex with him on the first night, you wouldn't forgive yourself. The next time you have sex with someone, take it slow and easy. Get to know the guy first. That way, when it goes down, your mind along with your body will be satisfied with your decision.

Knowing the guy likes you at the minimum you owe him a return call, text message, a smoke signal or something explaining your position. It doesn't have to be long and detailed, just enough to make your point.

One-night stands take place between two people on one-way streets. So that there's no misunderstanding and hurt feelings; in the future if you're going to go down that road, make sure the other person knows as for as you're concerned the road leads to a dead end.


Dear Willie D,

I have downloaded thousands of songs from the Internet including yours and the Geto Boys. Although I feel justified in doing so, it always feels like I'm doing something wrong. I guess that's because I've heard stories of kids being sued and artists complaining about not being compensated for their work. But artists make a lot of money and live better than I could ever dream, so I don't have sympathy for them.

I'm a fan who's supporting their music by sharing it and attending concerts. Music today is too expensive. That's not the fans' fault. The big record companies and artists are to blame. In as non-biased of an opinion as you could possibly give from an artist standpoint, when do you think stealing music from the Internet is appropriate?

Dear Unsympathetic Fan,

In the context of crime -- pirating music -- stealing would be illegal 100 percent of the time. There are one million reasons people give for stealing music on the Internet, but let's pick around the bone and get to the meat. The primary reason people steal music on the Internet is because it's easy and there's seldom any legal ramification. The part that trips me out is when people steal and get mad because someone has a problem with them stealing.

If I walked into a hamburger joint, jumped over the counter, grabbed a handful of burgers and started passing them out to my friends, you would think I was cuckoo. Any rational-thinking person would conclude that I had committed a crime and probably needed to be locked up.

It's the same thing. People who steal music are stealing someone else's product. The argument that artists should be happy you're downloading the music free and sharing it because it gives them exposure to get paid for performing is weak.

Artists, producers and writers compose songs together. Producers and writers don't get paid to perform, and most of them won't see a dime until a record sells. If producers and writers can't earn a living doing what they love, they'll get other jobs to pay the bills and make music in their spare time or not at all.

Record labels make big bucks because they take big risks. So you can't be mad at them. I can understand the intense loathing of artists who flaunt their wealth. I don't like them, either. But two wrongs don't make a right. In this world, nobody gives you anything for free. If you want the music, pay for it.


Dear Willie D,

My friend is a habitual complainer. Nothing is ever right. She has a problem with everything in the world. I'm serious. I have to hear her mouth about the restaurant or bar we go to. She has an issue with driving in the heat. She whines about the cold. She complains about her rent. She doesn't like her new phone company. She hates her old one.

I finally stopped answering my phone when she calls because it's just too depressing to talk to her. I have problems of my own, but I don't go around turning every little minute situation into a crisis. Why do people think it's okay to dump their garbage on others?

Dear Worn Down,

We all complain from time to time, but some of us go overboard with it. People who complain excessively do so invariably because they are unhappy. They have to complain. It's therapeutic to them. That's how they get through the day.

There are three types of complainers I despise most. First up is the nothing-is-ever-right complainer. That's the, it's too cold or it's too hot complainer. They're the type who will rush to get inside of a packed bar and complain that it's too crowed, or get mad when someone bumps them. That's the one who has never dined at a restaurant and left without complaining about something.

Then you have the political complainer. To him the poor are to blame. The rich are to blame. The Democrats are to blame. The Republicans are to blame. Any ethnic group other than the one they belong to is the problem. The government is the enemy, and every single event throughout history was, is and will be a conspiracy. Oh yeah, and most of the time, they don't vote or take any action other than bumping their gums because to be engaged in the process in any form is a conspiracy, too.

And finally you have your down-on-my-luck complainer. As soon as they open their mouths, they're crying about everything from not having money for bills to who wronged them. The next time you're around a professional complainer and they try to throw a pity party at your expense, just switch the subject or, better yet, stay away from them. You can't save them because they don't see the glass as half empty or half full. They see it as too big.

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Willie D
Contact: Willie D