Magic Cyclops discourages teen pregnancy

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Oh, Magic Cyclops, how do we love you? Let us count the ways. Although he's had a spate of bad luck recently, namely being completely shafted by Hotels.com, who maxed his credit card while he was in New York, which ultimately left him penniless and starving for a few days until he could board a plane back to the Fort, this latest development should mark a serious upturn in his fortunes. He's long been known for his propensity for wild stunts, half-mad promotions and generally goofy behavior, but he's really outdone himself this time.

Cyclops is releasing a limited-edition cassette single called "Teen Pregnancy - Don't Do it." And while it may be odd enough to release a single on the long-lost "cassingle" medium, releasing an anti-teen pregnancy ode in a pregnancy kit is just ... brilliant? Insane? Inspired, at least. Cyclops says the idea came to him in the dollar store when he saw the kits. "That's where the idea began, at the Dollar General," he says. "Other than that, I 'm trying to get on the Colbert Report to play the song live. I thought this was the most ridiculous way to do it."

The back of the box includes a Planned Parenthood appointment card with a code for downloading the music digitally, so you won't have to wear out your precious cassette by actually playing it -- or, more to the point, dig that old cassette player out of the closet to actually hear this thing. The cassette includes the song in both Davenport and Denver versions, an instrumental version, a demo version, a Mr. Pacman cover of the song and a Ruby Isle remix.

Word is it will be limited to just 100 copies, all hand-assembled by Cyclops himself, so if you want to own a genuine Magic Cyclops pregnancy test/cassingle, act fast. It will be available sometime next month for the unbelievable price of $5. Cyclops says he's working on booking a release show and the package should be available from Twist & Shout and Wax Trax as well as directly from the man himself. If you want to reserve a copy, hit Cyclops up on his MySpace and I'm sure he will be happy to set one aside for you.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


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