Nine bands worse than the Black Eyed Peas -- at least according to Billboard

The new Billboard Hot 100 keeps coming out, and despite an alarming gain by some guy named Jay-Z, the Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling" remains on top, further proving that the Peas are the greatest pop ensemble ever assembled (even better than those old guys above).

Don't believe that the Peas are one of the greatest pop groups ever? What follows are nine of the many otherwise acclaimed bands or musicians who've been bested by the Peas over the course of their twenty-five weeks (and counting) atop the Hot 100.

Lil Wayne Remember last year, when this guy dominated the world of music? Me neither. Just six weeks with a number one. Hall & Oates We like your dulcet tones. Well, we like them enough to give you fewer than half as many weeks as the Peas at number one. Boyz II Men They had the record for most consecutive weeks atop the Hot 100. Had. The Supremes You know how many number one hits they had? Twelve. You know how many weeks they spent there? Twenty-one. Sit down, queens of Motown. ABBA Congrats on the Hall of Fame nomination, Swedes. Too bad you only managed one week with a number one hit in the U.S.

OutKast Remember "Hey Ya!"? That was a great single. You couldn't escape that thing in early 2004, and why would you want to? But it was only number one for a measly nine weeks. Either Peas hit song is better. Fleetwood Mac Only one week for these guys, too. Stevie Nicks < Fergie, clearly. The Rolling Stones They've been around since 1962, and all they can manage is eighteen weeks at the top of the chart? Mick's got nothing on Fergie. Michael Jackson Greatest Pop Star ever my ass. His best one-year performance? Just fourteen weeks at the top.
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Kiernan Maletsky is Westword's music editor. His writing has appeared in alt-weeklies around the country as well as Miley Cyrus's mom's Twitter feed.
Contact: Kiernan Maletsky