This week, we've presented the first two editions of our worst lyrics in hip-hop. Today, the parade of awfulness continues. These next ones are even worse than before, and we're only halfway done. Be prepared for lines from Lil' Wayne (again), Kanye West, Nicki Minaj and Pitbull. Keep reading for the worst lyrics in hip-hop, 30-21.
30. Kanye West - "N****s in Paris"
Ball so hard. That shit cray, ain't it, Jay?/What she order, fish filet?
Not sure why this detail is important in Kanye and Jay's French adventure, but "filet" does rhyme with "cray." Can't argue with that.
29. Lil' Wayne - "Dr. Carter"
"Swagger tighter than a yeast infection/Fly, go hard, like geese erection."
What is it with Wayne and disgusting vagina descriptions? I imagine, being so famous, he has to have had quite a few bad experiences sprinkled in with the good, but c'mon, man. Spare us. At least this time he paired it with an equally unappealing penis simile. Hooray for gender equality!
28. Nicki Minaj - "Blazin'"
"Go against me now, I dare you. #Bambi"
We actually couldn't figure out what Nicki was trying to say here until we looked it up on the interwebs. The best explanation we found is that, with her accent, "dare" kiiiinda sounds like "deer." Rest easy, Bambi, Nicki isn't trying to fight you. She's just rapping badly.
27. A$AP Ant - "Bath Salts"
"I see fear/You some fucking queers/Grow a fucking beard/I'm 'posed to be here."
So if I grow a beard, will it make me not queer? Will I finally measure up to these impossible standards of masculinity?
26. Pitbull - "Give Me Everything"
"Me not working hard? Yeah, right. Picture that with a Kodak/and, better yet, go to Times Square, take a picture of me with a Kodak"
It's not so much the rhyming a word with the same word that I have a problem with here; it's the hilarity of the laziest "rhyme" imaginable coming right after the rhetorical question, "Me not working hard?" Oh, yeah, I can picture it, with a Kodak.
25. OJ Da Juiceman - "I'm Gettin' Money"
"Movin' in the Grand Prix, same color as thunder."
Wait, this line isn't stupid. This line is genius! How do you describe the indescribable? "Same color as thunder" is right up there with the taste of a whisper, the vision of a scream and the sound of a tree falling when nobody can hear it.
24. Young Jeezy - "Trap or Die"
"Got diarrhea flow, now I shit on niggas/Even when I'm constipated I still shit on niggas."
Apparently Jeezy has problems controlling his bowels. At times, his ailment gets so bad, he has diarrhea and constipation at the same time. Poor guy. Maybe try taking an Imodium A-D and an Ex-lax, and see what happens. Should be interesting.
23. Redman - "5 Boroughs"
"My paragraph alone is worth five mics/A twelve-song LP, that's 36 mics."
This line doesn't make any sense any way you slice it. The math doesn't come close to working; 36 isn't even divisible by 5. Redman wasn't on 36 Chambers, which had more than twelve songs anyway. He didn't even have a twelve-song LP. Possibly he was referring to the KRS-1 album that "5 Boroughs" was supposed to be released on, but the album never dropped, so I guess we'll never know.
22. Childish Gambino - "Who Datt Pt. 2"
"I shit green like vegetarian assholes"
Not only has this sentiment (though it seems a stretch to even call it that) been conveyed a million billion times by every rapper and their mother, it seems like rappers are just getting lazier and lazier. This is a picture I could do without ever seeing. And vegetarians, if this happens to you, you're doing it wrong.
21. Juelz Santana - "Black Republicans"
"Rock star: I'm flier than an ostrich."
Let's give credit where it's due. Juelz knew that an ostrich is a bird, and he knew most birds fly. Hell, for all he probably knew, all birds fly. So it only logically follows that an ostrich is gonna fly. It's not like there are ostriches in New York. You expect him to be a scholar on ostriches?