"There's a curfew. Oh! We don't wanna listen to the curfew. We gotta beat this curfew. They're telling us we can't play, and we say, 'We'll take our chances.'"
"I knew I'd figure out what that song was eventually. Yeah, they all sound the same to me, too."
"It's possible to change, and it's possible to change the way you feel about yourself."
"Governments can do one thing: turn their back on you and fuck you in the ass at the same time."
"Tim Tebow has never been laid. Tim Tebow has never been drunk. Tim Tebow has never had his dick sucked. I, Mojo Nixon, will suck Tim Tebow's dick to send him down the right path."