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They can't love you back: 15 love songs about inanimate objects

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15. Ernie - "Rubber Ducky"

Probably the most recognized and classic love song about an inanimate object, this song sets the precedent from a very early age that you don't need other people to have fun.

14. Danni Minogue - "Vibe On"

It's kind of creepy how many similarities between "Vibe On" and "Rubber Ducky" there are. Who needs a rubber ducky, though, when you have a vibrator? Just remember to change up from fast to slow, so you can get the frequency you like.

13. Belle & Sebastian - "I Love My Car"

There were hundreds of thousands of love songs about cars to choose from here, but we decided to go with this Belle & Sebastian ditty, because it's so goddamn adorable, it's impossible not to love.

12. Roxy Music - "In Every Dream Home a Heartache"

Not only is this one of our favorite Roxy Music songs, it's also a song primarily about a man's love of an inflatable doll. And it features one of the greatest lyrics in rock history: "I blew up your body/but you blew my mind."

11. Black Sabbath - "Sweet Leaf"

Uh, it's a love song about weed. Do we really need to say any more? It's not the only one on the list, either.

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Thorin Klosowski
Contact: Thorin Klosowski