They can't love you back: 15 love songs about inanimate objects

Page 2 of 3

15. Ernie - "Rubber Ducky"

Probably the most recognized and classic love song about an inanimate object, this song sets the precedent from a very early age that you don't need other people to have fun.

14. Danni Minogue - "Vibe On"

It's kind of creepy how many similarities between "Vibe On" and "Rubber Ducky" there are. Who needs a rubber ducky, though, when you have a vibrator? Just remember to change up from fast to slow, so you can get the frequency you like.

13. Belle & Sebastian - "I Love My Car"

There were hundreds of thousands of love songs about cars to choose from here, but we decided to go with this Belle & Sebastian ditty, because it's so goddamn adorable, it's impossible not to love.

12. Roxy Music - "In Every Dream Home a Heartache"

Not only is this one of our favorite Roxy Music songs, it's also a song primarily about a man's love of an inflatable doll. And it features one of the greatest lyrics in rock history: "I blew up your body/but you blew my mind."

11. Black Sabbath - "Sweet Leaf"

Uh, it's a love song about weed. Do we really need to say any more? It's not the only one on the list, either.

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Thorin Klosowski
Contact: Thorin Klosowski