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Surely you've heard about this by now: Over the weekend, it seems, Tila Tequila narrowly escaped what sounds like an absolutely harrowing ordeal at the 11th Annual Gathering of Juggalos, in which she sustained cuts and bruises to her face and person from being pelted with everything from "beer cans, Faygo containers, Stryofoam cups, liquor bottles, cigarettes, mustard," relates Camille Dodero, from our sister paper in New York, who was on stage during the melee and observed the launching of projectiles firsthand, to "half a lemon, a pizza slice, a pearl bracelet, a pudding cup, an unopened can of ICP's self-branded energy drink Spazmatic, part of a watermelon allegedly soaked in feces and urine, a clothed baby doll, a mini Mag Lite, a bag of chicken tenderloin." Yikes. Tough crowd, eh?