Brady Quinn vs. Kyle Orton: We got the ugly one

When the Broncos began shopping Sweet Baby Jay Cutler earlier this year, one of his possible destinations was Cleveland, this weekend's opponent, where he'd have been swapped for Brady Quinn. My twin high-school-age daughters, Lora and Ellie, weren't very enthusiastic about that prospect from a football standpoint, since this particular member of the Brady bunch probably couldn't hit Marcia's nose if it was right in front of him. But they saw one big advantage to the deal: In their words, Quinn is bangin'!

What about Kyle Orton, the man who eventually came to Colorado in exchange for Cutler? The other day, he popped onto the screen in a news conference while we were watching an HD channel, and Lora flinched like she'd just seen a closeup of road kill. "Get that thing off my TV," she growled.

Too harsh a judgment? 'Fraid not -- and to make the situation that much more painful, Orton doesn't seem to be any better at quarterbacking an NFL team than Quinn is. At least if Brady'd come our way, he would have looked pretty throwing incompletions and getting sacked. For proof, page through a collection of Quinn and Orton photos below -- if you dare.

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts