2. Stealing a piece of history: "You know how they said that we destroyed the South Stands and all of that? Mere humans couldn't have done that, not with our bare hands, but what we were able to do...It's the last game and you want a souvenir, you know?"
Having spent so much time in the South Stands seats that they were basically his own (after all, he pretty much paid for them), Hat Man figured that Mile High Stadium's closing was his best opportunity to bring that piece of his life home with him.
"There was a security guard -- this guy was a monster -- he used to work out with Shannon Sharpe, and you know how he looks. His name was William, so me, thinking I'll be this guy's best friend, 'Hey Bill! How are ya?'
"He said, 'My name is William, not Bill.'
"'Sorry.' So [thereafter we always called this guy] 'William, not Bill.' And we had fun with this guy all the time. He was at the bottom of the South Stands in the Southwest corner.
"But anyway, I had under my arm in my tux an eight-foot section of this pink fiberglass and I'm walking out, and William says, 'Jay, you can't have that.' And then he looks at me and he says, 'You know what? I'm turning around, Jay. Just get your ass out of here.' And so I went down the ramp, and I got this eight-foot section of the fiberglass cover of the chairs and I'm going down the ramp and the exit is maybe thirty yards from the bottom of the ramp from the South Stands. I get to the gate. I'm going through the gate. And I can't move. I'm stuck. I'm through the gate and I'm stuck. And I turn around; a cop has a hold of the other end of the seat that I'm trying to take out. I almost made it."
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