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Commerce City is dead end for dueling decorations: Kenny Be's Yard Arteology

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The photograph above features a decorative dead end in the Reunion subdivision of Commerce City. The center of the picture looks out into the future of planned suburban expansion. Until then, the nearly identical homes face off in a duel of nearly identical holiday decorations. Below, Santa Homer goes head to head with Christmas Coke... The holiday decorations pictured above would seem more appropriate for a shopping mall, but their commercial appeal is oddly befitting for a suburb named Commerce City. The Coca-Cola snow globe features small styrofoam pellets blown from a hole in the bottle cap. Static electricity causes the pellets to stick to the bottle and roll down its sides like water condensation on a frosty cold Coke bottle on a warm summer day. Move over, baby Jesus: Standing in the empty street before this softly hissing wonder is truly a religious experience. All across this newer suburban subdivision, the most modern faith and the Charlie Browniest holiday decorations are all filled with hot air... The holiday inflatable pictured above captures all of the most pathetic elements of Charlie Brown's Christmas tree. Charlie struggled alone to find the meaning of Christmas against the rampant commercialization practiced by the holiday hordes. How proud he must feel to see the human spiritual experience reduced to a sod-tethered balloon that was mass-produced in his honor. At least the holiday dog house seen above is filled with hot air. As seen below, most holiday decorations are deflated during daylight hours and look like the aftermath of a laundry bomb... The number and arrangement of holiday decorations in the picture above suggests that this is an early stage of one of those yards that will eventually be completely filled at Christmas.

That back fence to the left could use a couple wreaths to balance the fence on the right. The white-wire reindeer enjoy an adequate sod range for now, but the space between them leaves plenty of room for the yet-to-be-invented holiday yard art must-haves of the future.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


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