^
Keep Westword Free
4

DIA conspiracy theories should be included in Denver airport's new message

Mayor Michael Hancock didn't record just one new message for the DIA train -- he recorded six, which are now in rotation. Sadly, none of them are the rap version he tried the first time out, nor do any pay tribute to DIA's most famous feature: conspiracy theories.

The greetings on the train are actually part of a sound piece by Jim Green, an artist commissioned to create them when DIA was first built. The voices are occasionally updated. John Hickenlooper joined the lineup in 2007, with a bossy, anonymous message; his name and title were added in 2008, and since then both Bill Vidal and Hancock have recorded their own mayoral welcome. Hancock's first version was an enthusiastic welcome to Denver; the message I caught on Monday was this one:

"Hello! This is Mayor Michael B. Hancock. Welcome to Denver, the Mile High City. I hope you can catch a game with the fans of our seven professional sports teams."

Here are the scripts for the other five mayoral messages, worked out between DIA, Visit Denver and the mayor's office:

Hello! This is Mayor Michael B. Hancock. Welcome to Denver, the Mile High City. We hope you enjoy our Western hospitality."

"Hello! This is Mayor Michael B. Hancock. Welcome to Denver, the Mile High City. And a special welcome to all our men and women in uniform. Thank you for your service to our country."

"Hello! This is Mayor Michael B. Hancock. Welcome to Denver, the Mile High City. Did you know that Colorado is home to more than 100 breweries? Good times are our business!"

"Hello! This is Mayor Michael B. Hancock. Welcome to Denver, the Mile High City. Denver enjoys 300 days of sunshine each year. Have fun exploring our beautiful state."

"Hello! This is Mayor Michael B. Hancock. Welcome to Denver, the Mile High City. Denver is home to hundreds of museums, theaters, festivals, and the world-famous Red Rocks Amphitheater."

Arts, sunshine, sports: all amenities worth touting. But just imagine how visitors would sit up and take notice if the mayor's message pointed out the real story about Denver International Airport, with something like this:

"Hello! This is Mayor Michael B. Hancock. Welcome to Denver, the Mile High City, home of an airport where hundreds of conspiracy theories have taken off. Watch out for the aliens below the baggage compartment -- and steer clear of the killer horse!"

Have your own suggestion for an appropriate greeting? Post it below.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Are there secret bunkers under Denver International Airport? Read our cover story, "DIA Conspiracy Theories Take Off!"

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.