, who launched a one-man jihad against Osama bin Laden, is back in Colorado at this writing.
But he swears he wasn't arrested or detained in Pakistan, as has been widely reported -- and he does some other swearing, too, in raw footage from a remarkable new interview during which he practically implodes. See it below:
During a conversation with CNN, Faulkner starts out on an even keel, calmly saying, "Too many people talk -- too little action. Me, I'd rather do the action and we'll talk later."
He also asserts that "I was never arrested, I was never detained, I was never captured or anything like that. I was never flogged or beat." Instead, he insists that "for my protection, they had to bounce me around, because somehow my cover got blown."
Shortly thereafter, he begins to rev himself up.
"My emotions are on edge, my life is on edge," he admits. "There's people out there talking smack: 'Oh, he's crazy,' or this or that. You know what? Those are the people on their ass talking shit. They'll sit there and say, well, 'That quarterback should have done this,' or 'That guy should have done this...' I got off my butt and put my life on the line to go out there."
At one point, Faulkner announces, "My life is a story you won't believe. But you know what? It doesn't matter. I stood up for what I believe."
As for his critics, "They do the same thing day in and day out, because they're miserable, wretched and blind," he believes. "You can say I'm a religious freak. You can say I'm a Rambo or a samurai... But you know what? I'm a person who said, 'I'm going to get off my ass and do something."
Next, he shows off a bandage covering the area where he's regularly connected to dialysis machines before facing the camera and venting at those who doubt him. "When you're able to stand up and put your life on the line, then we'll sit down and talk," he spews. "Until then, shut your mouth! You sit down and get to the back of the bus! Better yet, get off the bus, because this ain't your bus. It ain't your ride."
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By this point, Faulkner is sweating, panting and complaining of high blood pressure. But he's able to answer a few last questions about the Osama hunt. To find him, Faulkner says, "you let the spirit guide you... God almighty has to put His hand on you." He adds that he was once so close to bin Laden that "if I had a rifle, I could shoot him" -- and while he subsequently concedes that "I haven't seen him personally," he feels ObL is "very close."
Then he wraps up by conceding, "I need a shower and some new clothes."
Check out the entire astonishing session here: