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Get out the vote. And get off my lawn

Va-va-va-vote!

When I arrived home late last night, I found a flier under my doormat, "Vote for the Change We Need," with a number to call to find my polling place today. Right above the mat, suspended from my doorknob, was a more elaborate hangtag, "Vote Obama," with detailed information on exactly where and when I could do so and what I must take with me.

Inside, I checked my phone and found a slew of new messages on my landline. Not since the advent of the cell phone have I been so popular: six. One from Barack Obama, who's become almost embarrassingly attentive. One from Joe the Firefighter (no relation to the Plumber), urging me to vote no on 47. One from Mayor John Hickenlooper -- a sheepish robo-call promising me it was his last and asking that I vote no on 46. One from a campaign worker reminding me how important it was to vote yes on 59. Another one from a friend of Barack Obama.

And then one from an alleged Catholic bishop, informing me how important it was for "Catholic citizens to vote an informed conscience," and alerting me to the alarming fact that one Barack Hussein Obama was pro-abortion. He left a number. I can't wait to call the bishop this morning to tell him that 1) Calhoun is not an Irish Catholic name, but good old Scot Presbyterian (if I ever run into Bob Beauprez, I'll tell him the same -- I got one of his Catholic conscience calls earlier). And 2) Just how much I appreciate his nasty reminder that "Hussein" is Obama's middle name.

I'll call -- probably while I'm in line to vote -- to tell him that I'll be voting my conscience today, all right. -- Patricia Calhoun

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