Calhoun: Wake-Up Call

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Mike Jones is having a bad week. The Capitol Hill apartment building where he lives suffered a fire, and he's out of his place and in a hotel -- with just one week to go until he has to turn in his book on his three-year "relationship" with Pastor Ted Haggard.

I caught up with him while he was going through his smoke-saturated notes, to ask how he thought Haggard could become "completely heterosexual," after just three weeks of counseling. Could it be through pulling out his chest hair, like those macho Snickers eaters?

And did Haggard even have chest hair? "Some," Jones allows. "There was something he used to do before he'd come to see me." To find out what that might be, you'll have to read the book.

But you won't have to wait for Jones's assessment of Haggard's claim that after three years of coming to him for much more than massages, he's now completely straight. "No way," Jones says, and laughs.

Where there's smoke... -- Patricia Calhoun

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Patricia Calhoun co-founded Westword in 1977; she’s been the editor ever since. She’s a regular on the weekly CPT12 roundtable Colorado Inside Out, played a real journalist in John Sayles’s Silver City, once interviewed President Bill Clinton while wearing flip-flops, and has been honored with numerous national awards for her columns and feature-writing.
Contact: Patricia Calhoun