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HuffPo idiot: Colorado is fifth most overrated travel destination, Denver is "weirdly bland"

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50. Our lists are better than the lists of other states.

49. Our governor is pretty much pre-puberty Uncle Sam and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington rolled into one.

48. Our state boasts the weather of three states.

47. Even our fundamentalists enjoy gay blowjobs and meth.

46. Minnesota may have invented the zombie crawl, but we did it better. Better than anyone else, in fact.

45. Centennial State, motherfuckers!

44. Colorado is one of just three states with no natural borders, meaning we separate ourselves from the crappy states surrounding us through sheer force of will. In your face, Utah and Wyoming!

43. You got mountains? We got more mountains.

42. Not even earthquakes can fuck with us.

41. Buffalo Bill is buried here. In your face, Wyoming!

40. Our art museum looks like the wreck of the U.S.S. Enterprise.

39. Our unbelievably awesome sports teams.

38. We're slightly less fat than other states.

37. We have nearly as many pot stores as we do public schools; essentially, being a stoner is a legit profession in this state.

36. We have a music venue so awesome that they name industry awards after it. Follow us here: The industry award for best music venue is called the Red Rocks awards, because Red Rocks was consistently voted number one so many times they had to remove it from the list to be fair to other venues.

35. John. Fucking. Elway.

34. We have a Garden... OF THE GODS!

33. Hey coastal states, if your shit is so great, why do you keep vacationing here?

32. Better yet, why do you keep moving here?

31. Our cities don't let shit and trash pile up on the sidewalks, choking everyone out with the stench of rot during the summer (we're looking at you, New York).

Continue for more of the 50 reasons why Colorado is the best state in America.
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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts