Calhoun: Wake-Up Call

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

As the only newspaper in town dedicated to printing the uncensored truth -- every juicy, titillating, squirm-inducing, profane word of it -- we eagerly awaited the moment when the 570 hot, hot office e-mails between Arapahoe County Clerk Tracy Baker (one of our 2002 Hall of Shame honorees) and his deputy, Leesa Sale, were slated for release to the public. (So did the Arapahoe County Commissioners, who'd love to get rid of the jerk.)

But at the last moment, Baker and his attorney, Bill Buckley (who, as a Denver deputy DA, shoplifted a hair dryer at Sears when he wanted something hot down his pants), were granted a stay by the Colorado Court of Appeals. That means the unexpurgated political cyberporn may not see the light of day for weeks, months, even years.

Talk about a tease!

To pass the time, we've taken a page from that favorite childhood game, Mad Libs, and created our own Mad Libidos in honor of Baker, the man who refuses to resign -- despite the commissioners' charges that he's guilty of "creating a hostile work environment," as well as "gross mismanagement, sexual misconduct and misuse of public funds and property."

Hey, he's not the only one who can fool around on office time.

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Patricia Calhoun co-founded Westword in 1977; she’s been the editor ever since. She’s a regular on the weekly CPT12 roundtable Colorado Inside Out, played a real journalist in John Sayles’s Silver City, once interviewed President Bill Clinton while wearing flip-flops, and has been honored with numerous national awards for her columns and feature-writing.
Contact: Patricia Calhoun