This week at Schmuck of the Week HQ, we've got a yin/yang situation. Or maybe we said say Schmuck/Anti-Schmuck, since the man Jeremiah Proctor allegedly tried to slice up with a samurai sword for the sin of towing his improperly parked car has responded in decidedly unschmucky fashion.
The story comes to us from CBS4, which spoke with tow-truck driver Josh Noel about an incident that happened this past Sunday.
According to Noel, he and another tow-truck-company employee were called to the Pier Apartments in Fort Collins to move a vehicle that was blocking in several cars.
The problematic ride belonged to Proctor, who had reportedly been told not to park in that particular spot.
Noel and his cohort had just attached the car to the tow truck when Proctor materialized, wearing a bulletproof vest and a gas mask and toting a samurai sword. Noel says he was able to block a slash attempt by Proctor, but his partner wound up with a minor cut on his chest.
Other victims: several tires, which Proctor stabbed.
Noel eventually got the sword out of Proctor's hands, then brought him to the ground and subdued him with help from residents.
Thanks to this display, Proctor was busted on suspicion of attempted first-degree assault, felony menacing and criminal mischief. But far from hoping Proctor get a long jolt at the Cross-Bar Hotel, Noel displays an impressive amount of anti-Schmuck cred. Turns out he and Proctor are both military veterans, and Noel thinks the man needs mental-health treatment, not a long jail stint.
"That's more of the issue I (sympathize) about, especially today," Noel told CBS4. "He obviously fell through the (cracks) and isn't getting the attention he needs to be a (productive) member of society."
Good for you, Mr. Noel. You're definitely not the Schmuck of the Week.
Here's a larger look at Proctor's booking photo, followed by the aforementioned CBS4 piece.
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.