Do you need a hug? I generally flip through Westword to see how much it can annoy me. The need for bad puns in 80 percent of the headlines and the uncanny and self-serving ability to stretch minimally interesting topics into novelette lengths (topics that often could be covered in a column) usually do a pretty good job of getting on my nerves enough for me to keep reading, but never before to write.
The August 29 Worst-Case Scenario, however, inspired me to take pen to paper, or rather keyboard to screen. Kenny Be's cartoon is typically liberal drivel, but the sarcasm is at least generally based on some level of reality. "Prix for All," however, approaches irresponsibility. For the record, I am not particularly a car-racing fan and did not go to the Grand Prix. That said, the assumptions behind the sarcasm of the cartoon are completely off-base. First off, the demographic of open-wheel racing is conspicuously upper middle class, unlike NASCAR, which draws more of the overweight, tube-top-wearing beer drinkers depicted in the strip. More important, the IRL and CART cars run on methane-based fuel, a clean-burning fuel readily available domestically. So when your artist drives to Boulder to his "arms are for hugging" meeting, he is having a greater impact on our overseas petroleum dependencies than all the cars in the Denver Grand Prix combined.
Finally, the connection between the sponsors of the cars and the president's position on Iraq is beyond any reasonable reader, and typical of Kenny's feeble attempts to tie Bush to any and all issues he has a distaste for.
Sick transit gloria: How sick is the media in this town when the only intelligent look at Bill Owens's new running mate comes in a cartoon?
Kenny Be's August 22 Worst-Case Scenario, "The Ironic Woman," did an impressive job of connecting the dots between the Republican Party's favorite donor, Trish Nagel, and her work picking Jane Norton as director of the state health department, a position responsible for overseeing Nagel's own nursing homes (as Westword has pointed out before).
I hope Owens isn't planning on making health care an important part of his platform.
via the Internet
Hair today, gone tomorrow: Just saw a photo of Democratic congresswoman Diana DeGette, and oh, girl, do you need a makeover! Quick! Call an Emergency Color Technician and rescue poor Di from all that beige! And what is with that Pat Schroeder hair? Hello? 1972 is over. Find a Great Clips, hon!
I'm really not trying to give the young, feminist, liberal Westword intern who first opened this letter a coronary. I'm making the point here that it's standard operating procedure in the media to attack conservative women for their looks rather than the merits of their positions or even the content of their character, and here's the creative Kenny Be, mooing right along with the herd in "The Ironic Woman." His nasty shots at the physical appearance of Governor Owens's pick for a running mate would be funny if he were slamming Jane Norton for her sociopolitical stances, or for some peccadillo, or for anything of any substance. But no, the biggest thing Kenny can find to bang on this woman for is her looks?
All over Denver and the Web, liberals and feminists who'd sooner shear their Susan Faludi fright wigs with a Weedwacker than slam a liberal woman for anything (see Clinton, Hillary, whitewashed) are rolling on the floors of their foundation and university offices at Be's mean-spirited denigration. Curiously, it's okay for lefties and feminists to engage in this sort of sickening sexism while hissing out of the other sides of their mouths that it's conservatives who are guilty of the ugliness of attacking people for how they look (see King, Dr. Martin Luther, Jr.).
But we know the truth. As the liberal Kenny Be has so aptly, uh, illustrated.
Child's prey: I just wanted to let you know how great Julie Jargon's August 22 "Alienation Nation" was. My childhood was spent being dragged through a ten-year bitter divorce between my parents, and they constantly used me as a weapon against each other. I'm not sure how I survived it all, but I know my future children will never be treated like that, and hopefully, my husband and I will never see that side of the world. To this day, my father cannot handle me in his life, even after my mother has passed away. His bitterness toward her is still prevalent, and it is truly pathetic for a seventy-year-old man to not "get over it."