Chipotle off the old blockhead: Do you pay Adam Cayton-Holland? I just finished reading the February 2 What's So Funny, and I have noticed this column evolving into Adam's whine piece to get free food, VIP tickets, invitations to parties, etc.
Can't you guys pay him $6.25 an hour so he can buy a freakin' burrito? This article was a lame attempt to get free Chipotle shwag; the attempts at humor amounted to nothing more than boring anecdotes. If I told boring stories like this at the water cooler at work, people would probably get more done, because they would avoid the water cooler at all costs. People refer others to good-quality restaurants because we don't like to put others through the pain of eating crap -- we don't do it so we can get fifty shares. I love Chipotle, too, but I go buy my own instead of brown-nosing executives into giving me free samples.
I demand you be funny, Adam, or change your column's title to Adam Wants Handouts.
Bean and nothingness: As I decided to kick back and give up on work today, I opened Westword and read What's So Funny. I just wanted to let you know that is some of the funniest shit I've read in years, maybe since college. Being an alum of the University of Wisconsin, home of The Onion, I have a fond appreciation for this type of humor -- absolutely sarcastic and relentless. It instantly took me back to days of sliding on cafeteria trays down the main hill on campus during the snow months. Not to mention "burritos as big as your head," which was the actual sign on the door of our local 3 a.m. burrito haunt.
I had to look down the hall in the office to make sure no one heard me crying today. I will be cutting this out to post on my fridge so I can laugh my ass off again at 3 a.m. during my usual milk-drinking binge. Maybe it's a Wisconsin thing, maybe I'm a freak. I just hope I don't piss my pants before I make it to the bathroom.
Those bastards at Chipotle owe Adam some back pay, I agree. I've been doing the same with Johnsonville Brats and haven't seen a fucking cent. Keep up the good work, and keep feeding the squirrels.
All jammed up: I would like to express my irritation with Tuyet Nguyen's review of Banyan (Now Hear This, February 2). I love music -- from jazz and classical to country and world music. And yes, I also like jam bands. The article was less a review than a soapbox for Nguyen's extreme anti-hippie rhetoric and jam-band bad-mouthing. The only information I was able to glean was that "Banyan is a jam band for jammy jamheads who jam out to instrumental jams," and that "it's an experiment in hippie tolerance and improvisational groove."
How does someone who dislikes improvisation get hired as a Westword music critic? Almost all forms of music are rooted in a rich history of long improvisational grooves -- from world music to jazz, blues and rock and roll. I would appreciate a harsh review for a bad jam band, but Nguyen's article simply implies that jam bands themselves are bad. Moreover, when did Flea, John Frusciante and Rob Wasserman become relics of "the era of Cindy Crawford [and] Wayne's World"? Ratdog and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are alive and well, in case Nguyen hasn't heard. Please stop having people who categorically hate jam bands (and their fans) review jam bands.
Better yet, get rid of Nguyen so she can go home and listen to two-minute, thirty-second non-participatory Britney Spears tracks to her heart's content.
Eclipse of the sum: Regarding Michael Roberts's "Hopped Up," in the January 19 issue:
It would have been bad enough if Roberts's column in praise of KS-107.5's pathetic attempt at appearing to support independent and local hip-hop, The Mix Tape Show, had overlooked the fact that Denver and Boulder radio audiences have access to some truly excellent underground hip-hop programming -- something The Mix does not provide. If Roberts had simply failed to mention Eclipse, I would have thought he just didn't know the first thing about hip-hop, local or otherwise, and wanted to write an inspiring little piece about some kids "living the dream."
But Roberts suggested that Eclipse, which has occupied the 7-10 p.m. Sunday slot on KGNU for over twenty years, is no longer on the air. What's worse, he made it seem like The Mix, which is only a little less mainstream than the rest of KS-107.5's format, is some kind of bigger-and-better resurrection of the "groundbreaking" Eclipse that just needed the expertise of a lame corporate station. The fact that KS-107.5 buries the show at 11 p.m. on Sunday is the most "alternative" thing about it.