4
| News |

Matching Up With the Green Jacket

^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Sure, it was exciting to watch Tiger Woods fend off challengers Woody Austin and Ernie Els to win the PGA on August 12 -- the thirteenth major championship of his career. But the thrill petered out as soon as Woods was presented with a generic looking silver-plated cup -- a bauble that isn't nearly as distinctive as the ugly green jackets handed out to victors at the Masters. Moreover, the trophies associated with the other two of golf's big four tournaments -- the U.S. Open and the British Open -- are just as bland.

So here's a modest proposal for improving the prizes given to champs of three bad-fashion-challenged majors: change them to articles of clothing. The PGA could hand out a purple Ban-Lon shirt, the U.S. Open a pair of red-and-black checkered Haggar slacks and the British Open chartreuse penny loafers. That way, someone like Woods, who's won each of these tournies, could wear the entire hideous outfit as a way of saying, "How do you like me now, bitch?"

Take that cup and shove it. -- Michael Roberts

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.