Medical marijuana dispensary review: Flavored Essentials in Denver

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The few plump buds in the shop didn't do much for me, either. The Strawberry Cough had a sweetness to the smell, but the buds looked blown out like the never-flushed Bubblegum I used to see around here about ten years ago. The only other jar with huge nuggets inside was the East Coast Sour Diesel, which my budtender was at least honest enough to tell me wasn't worth my time.

That left me with the two phenotypes of the Girl Scout Cookies -- neither of which was likely actual Girl Scout Cookies, which is only passed around by cloning. They were seed-grown, which means they either come from one of the seed banks capitalizing on the buzzword strain or they actually came from rare Girl Scout Cookies bag seed. Either way, neither of the two phenotypes was anywhere near the sugary-sweet goodness that one would hope to see with GSC. Instead, the dried little buds had the generically hashy smell of used vape-pen oil. Broken up, the underdeveloped budlets had a light minty freshness, and I did get a noticeably more sugary, earthy flavor than I was expecting -- but they still need work. A decent buzz followed my morning bowl for about an hour, but I was wanting more (and more flavor) well before lunchtime came around.

The other strain worth bringing home (relatively speaking, of course) was the Cat-piss Romulan. Again, the jar was down to the shakey bottoms, and the buds I brought home were "hand picked" out of that batch to be some of the best. But I think that at one time, this batch of CPR at Flavored Essentials was really enticing. I'm not sure it's really CPR, though, as there's no nose-burning cat-piss haze to it -- just a light lavender Flo smell that turned fruity when broken up, with a light soil finish that came through in the bowl's flavor out of a dry pipe even with the crackly, dry smoke. But the nutrient-burned leaves on some of the buds and overall condition are details that the guys at Flavored Essentials needs to work on if they want to try and attract a connoisseur clientele. Not a bad strain to keep improving on, and with some more TLC, this might be worth a second trip.

What little hash Flavored Essentials had in stock was kept in a hand-blown glass container sealed off with a cork, like the head stash of a hippie. It was your typical dark-brown, pressed and dried bubble hash going for $25 a gram. (I think that's what he quoted me; it's the price listed on their WeedMaps menu.) I'm glad to see the shop offering water-made hash, but a drop in price to $15 a gram would be more befitting of the quality. The shop also carried peanut-butter-consistency wax, but I didn't feel like gambling $30 or so to figure out if was worthwhile -- which, really, means it wasn't worthwhile. And, unfortunately, that's the shop in a nutshell right now.

To their credit, the owners said they were having some licensing issues in regard to getting one of their grow warehouses up off the ground; they told me they plan to stock larger harvests in the future as they prepare to open to recreational sales. (The budtender told me the store is headed that way and has applied for a license.) But while they're waiting for the city's approval, they should really get out the broom and mop.

And change a few lightbulbs.

Read more reviews from Westword's medical marijuana dispensary critic, William Breathes, in our Mile Highs and Lows blog, and keep up with all your Colorado marijuana news over at The Latest Word.

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William Breathes
Contact: William Breathes

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