Marijuana

Medical Marijuana Dispensary Review: Holistic Life in Lakewood

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Holistic Life

1395 South Sheridan Boulevard Lakewood, Colorado 80232 303-935-2839

Hours: 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily. Raw marijuana price range: $9-$13/gram $30-$45/eighth-ounce, $190-$240/ounce. Members receive about 10 percent off purchase. Other types of medicine: Edibles, tinctures, hash, solvent-extracted oils. Online menu? Yes. Handicap-accessible? Yes. Recreational sales? No.

Frankly, the shop as a whole doesn't fit with the cannabis quality. The neon green and yellow of the waiting room has the same level of eye-grating tonality found in fast-food restaurants of the 1980s. Anyone else remember when places like McDonald's were all orange, yellow and brown on the inside? Yeah, that was pure psychology to get you in and out as fast as you could possibly scarf your burger, all while keeping you hungry. Seriously.

Holistic Life's color scheme didn't make me hungry or make me desire weed any more, but I can't deny that I wanted out of that bright waiting room as soon as possible.

Another reason was the overwhelming plant-food smell. The place has a grow on site, and clearly a lot of the nutrient-rich feed and water is releasing some potent-smelling chemicals. In fact, had I not made it back to the bud bar to see the good herb on the shelf, I would have walked out and assumed all of the buds were jacked up with nasty chemicals and burned like pop rocks in a bowl.

I'm glad I stuck it out, though, because at the bud bar, the smells became much more organic and ganja-esque. The place is small inside, with more bright green on the walls, but the huge cutout window into the flowering room breaks the color and is a welcome distraction if you happen to be waiting in line. I spent about five minutes staring at the various trees through the window while the patient ahead of me went through the motions.

I eventually got antsy, mostly because the jars on display looked so freaking delicious that I wanted to jump ahead and put my face in them. The Lemon Kush, for example, reminded me of mornings working in kitchens cutting hundreds of lemon wedges for the iced tea of little old ladies. Super Lemon Haze was potently hazy, with a nose-tickling funk. Blue Dream was spot-on, with a soothing lavender odor, and the Golden Goat buds were the most chunky, round marbles I've seen in years. Great genetics grown well are a sight to see.

Flo was another standard that hit 100 percent of the checklist. The Golden Maui, a unique cut, was spicy and coated in trichs, and the Blackberry Kush reminded me of Welch's mixed fruit juice. In short: Everything was enticing and I couldn't have gone wrong with what I brought home.

Continue for the rest of the review and photos.

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William Breathes
Contact: William Breathes