More Messages: Drew, Too

In the June 22 Message column, Channel 9 sportscaster Drew Soicher revealed that he collects insulting e-mails directed at him -- but due to space constraints dictated by the printed page, only a couple of excerpts were included as examples. What follow are some additional, and equally hysterical, examples of hatred directed at the city's most-watched sports anchor, with any spelling or grammar errors left uncorrected.

First up is the full text of a note from Jeremy, who wrote the following in 2004:


Rarely do I take the time to compliment someone. So I will make no exception this time. You are without question the worst reporter in the history of television. Mind you that this observation is not limited to just sports anchors, but all anchors everywhere. And what is this based on? Nothing but fact.

I enjoy the 9News 10pm broadcast. Right up until the sports. At this point you come on the air with affliction that all sports anchors have, only your case is that of a mutated gene with a bad temperment and festering puss oozing from your mouth. The problem is this:

I can only assume that since you are the sports anchor that somewhere along the line you attended at least one basic journalisim class. And in doing so I must again assume that you learned about the five W's and the lone H. You should have also learned in the basic class that you compromise a story when you start using 'adjectives' and injecting personal opinions.

Try sticking to the facts and just reporting the story. We could care less what you think about Jake Plummers beard or Carmello's behavior. Just tell us the facts (you know, be a professional reporter). No one cares about your personal opinion. I am sure I speak for most viewers when I say that I would rather watch scum freeze on the eyeballs of a dead jackass than listen to your personal opinions.



Next, check out these 2005 observations from a correspondent who signed himself Madness:


How bad can one person be at what they do for a living? I'll tell you. You are so bad I can't drag myself to watch channel 9. Your bio says your best know for your popular and unique daily features such as "Drew or False", Drew's Clues" and "Bobblehead Theater". I don't call any of that unique or popular, I call it bad TV. Every time you deposit a check in the back you should feel bad since you are robbing Channel 9.


Finally, here's a particularly cryptic 2005 missive from a guy known as D.S.:


I've got one word for you- Orangutans. No matter how you say it- fast or slow or with an accent, Orangutans is a truly funny word. OHHH-WRANGGGGG-GOOOOO-TANNNNNNZZZ. Just like Wiener. Wiener will always be a funny word. This is called humor. You however, are not even close to Wiener or Orangutans. Why not try to interest the viewer by being truly descriptive of the sporting events? I'm talking about sports' passion, drive, the "Agony of Defeat"? Rather than the same old slip-shod sports cast prevalent in today's media, how about being professional one day a week?

Let me know which day so I can tune in and not grimace. Do it for the Wieners and Orangutans.


Talk about words to live by. -- Michael Roberts

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts