"Elf Sex Criminal..."
That was followed by:
"Local Santa Helper Exposed"
Okay, okay: This time around, at least the tease was based on something real -- in this case, Westminster Mall's decision to fire a guy who was taking photos of children on Santa's lap after it was discovered that he's a registered sex offender. Moreover, this Denver Post story confirms that the creepazoid did indeed wear an elf costume. But "Elf Sex Criminal"? Come on! That conjures up an image of The Lord of the Rings' Legolas having illicit congress with a cave troll, and then flashing the kiddies after he was done -- or wasn't that what they meant by "exposed"?
Be sure to tune in Channel 2 during prime time tonight -- because the more desperate the folks there are to boost their newscast's ratings, the crazier their captions become. -- Michael Roberts