It seems that squirrels aren't the only creatures stocking up for winter by hurriedly filling their cheeks with supplies. A September 21 arrest near Skyline Park reveals that a local drug dealer has been following the lead of our furry friends. According to a Denver Police Department incident report, the 28-year-old suspect was caught slanging in the streets with 22 drug-filled balloons stuffed in his mouth.

At about 3 p.m., a plainclothed narcotics officer noticed a man "spitting out numerous black and white balloons into his left hand," which he then gave to another man. When the cops made their move, the suspected dealer attempted to stuff the balloons back into his mouth, but he was unsuccessful. Officers got him to cough up the rest of his stash, which totaled sixteen balloons filled with heroin and six more filled with cocaine.

Hasn't he ever heard of a fanny pack? —Jared Jacang Maher

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Patricia Calhoun co-founded Westword in 1977; she’s been the editor ever since. She’s a regular on the weekly CPT12 roundtable Colorado Inside Out, played a real journalist in John Sayles’s Silver City, once interviewed President Bill Clinton while wearing flip-flops, and has been honored with numerous national awards for her columns and feature-writing.
Contact: Patricia Calhoun