Photos: One hater's thirteen reasons why Colorado sucks elephant balls

Around here, we like to think Colorado is the best state in the U.S.A. But not everyone agrees -- including some people who live here. We recently stumbled across a video from earlier this year entitled "Reasons Why Colorado Sucks Elephant Balls" in which its creator, who says he's lived...

By Michael Roberts

July 22, 2014

Audio By Carbonatix

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Around here, we like to think Colorado is the best state in the U.S.A. But not everyone agrees -- including some people who live here. We recently stumbled across a video from earlier this year entitled "Reasons Why Colorado Sucks Elephant Balls" in which its creator, who says he's lived here for twelve years, rips our fair state to the tune of Green Day's "American Idiot."

We're not exactly objective on this subject, but for every defensible rant (no one likes high suicide rates or mass shootings), there are three or four that are highly exaggerated or make no sense at all. Don't take our word for it, though. Count down his thirteen reasons, represented by screen captures of his photos and spelling/punctuation/grammar-challenged graphics.

Number 13: Number 12: Continue to keep counting down one hater's thirteen reasons why Colorado sucks elephant balls. Number 11: Number 10: Continue to keep counting down one hater's thirteen reasons why Colorado sucks elephant balls. Number 9: Number 8: Continue to keep counting down one hater's thirteen reasons why Colorado sucks elephant balls. Number 7: Number 6: Continue to keep counting down one hater's thirteen reasons why Colorado sucks elephant balls. Number 5: Number 4: Continue to keep counting down one hater's thirteen reasons why Colorado sucks elephant balls. Number 3: Number 2: Continue to keep see one hater's top reason why Colorado sucks elephant balls. Number 1:

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Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword's news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor's degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master's degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

Contact: Michael Roberts

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